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Sardarji Jokes
don't read this continuously, take some break and have some fun.
A sardar goes into a store and sees a shiny object.
He asks the clerk, "What is that shiny object?"
The clerk replies, "That is a thermos flask."
The sardar then asks, "What does it do?"
The clerk responds, "It keeps hot
things hot and it keeps cold things cold."
The sardar says, "I'll take it!"
The next day, he walks into work with his new thermos.
His sardar boss sees him and asks,
"What is that shiny object with you?"
He said, "It's a thermos flask."
The boss then says, "What does it do?" He replies,
"It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold."
The boss said, "Wow, what do you have in it?"
The sardar replies, "Two cups of hot coffee and a coke."
What will a Sardarji do after taking photocopies
?
He will compare it with the original for spelling mistakes !!
What will a sardarji do if he wants an additional
white sheet of paper ?
(he already has one and he wants one more..)
He takes a photcopy of the white paper !!!
Once there was a meeting of all the Surd
freedom fighters. They were planning for free punjab. Santa Singh raised
a point, "Oh..we'll get Punjab from India but how would we develop
it?"
That was a difficult question indeed.
Suddenly Banta Singh replied,"No problem! we'll attack USA, it would
take over us and then we would be a state of USA and we'll automatically
get developed." All the surds became happy on this very simple solution
but an old surd did not utter a single word. Someone asked him why he
wasn't happy. The surd replied, "OH! THAT'S ALRIGHT BUT...WHAT WOULD
HAPPEN IF BY CHANCE WE TAKE OVER USA ????"
Sardar went to the appliance store sale and
found a bargain.
"I would like to buy this small TV," he told the salesman.
"Sorry, we don't sell to SARDARs," he replied.
He hurried home removed his turban and changed his hair style, and returned
to tell the salesman "I would like to buy this TV.".
"Sorry, we don't sell to Sardars," Salesman replied.
"Damn, he recognized me," he thought. he went for a complete
disguise this time, haircut and new hair color, new outfit,big sunglasses,
then waited a few days before he again approached the salesman.
"I would like to buy this TV."
"Sorry, we don't sell to Sardars," he replied.
Frustrated, he exclaimed "How do you know I'm a Sardar?"
"Because that's a microwave," he replied.
Why did 18 sardarjis go to a movie?
Because below 18 was not allowed.
How do you measure a Sardar's intelligence?
Stick a tire pressure gauge in his ear
What do you do when a Sardar throws a hand
grenade at you?
Pull the pin and throw it back.
What do you do when a Sardar throws a pin
at you?
Run like crazy....he's got a hand grenade in his
mouth.
How do you make a Sardar laugh on Saturday?
Tell him a joke on Wednesday.
What is the Sardar doing when he holds his hands
tightly over his ears?
Trying to hold on to a thought.
Why do Sardars work seven days a week?
So you don't have to re-train them on Monday.
Why can't Sardars make ice cubes?
They always forget the recipe.
How did the Sardar try to kill the bird?
He threw it off a cliff.
What do you call 10 Sardars standing ear to
ear?
A wind tunnel.
What do you see when you look into a Sardar's
eyes?
The back of his head.
What do you call a sardar who drinks only
beer?
Just-beer Singh ('T' silent!).
What do you call a sardar who has only one
drink?
Just-one Singh.
Why does Sardar always smile during lightning
storms?
They think their picture is being taken.
Why does Sardar have "TGIF" written
on their shoes?
Toes Go In First.
How can you tell when Sardar sends you a
fax?
It has a stamp on it.
Why can't Sardar dial 911?
They can not find the eleven on the phone
How do you get Sardar on the roof?
Tell him the drinks are on the house.
"Oh, look at the dead bird."
Sardar looked skyward and said "Where, Where?
What do smart Sardar and UFOs have in common?
You always hear about them but you never see them.
Why does it take longer to build a Sardar
snowman as opposed to a regular one?
You have to hollow out the head.
TO LOSE WEIGHT..
The doctor told Sardarji that if he ran eight kilometers a day for 300
days, he would loose 34 kilos. At the end of 300 days, Sardarji called
the doctor to report he had lost the weight, but he had a problem.
"What's the problem?"asked the doctor.
I'm 2400 kms from home."
TRAIN TO YORKSHIRE.
Sardars Hari Singh and Gani Singh are in a railway station.
Hari Singh asks the clerk: "Can I take this train to Yorkshire?"
"No," answers the Railway man.
"Can I?" asks Gani Singh.
A sardarji goes to the see Jurassic Park and
when the Dinosaurs start approaching he is cowering in his seat when his
friend asks him "What's wrong Sardarji. It's only a movie"
Sardarji replies "I am a man and have brains, I know it's a cinema.
But tell this to that animal "
Sardarji is trying to commit suicide on the
railway tracks and he takes along some wine and chicken with him. Somebody
stops him and asks, 'Why are you with all these?' Sardarji replies "The
train is usually late. Who knows, I may die of hunger"
Once a Sardarji was travelling on a train.
He felt sleepy so he gave the guy sitting opposite him on the train 20
rupees to wake him up when the station arrived. This guy was a barber,
and he felt that for 20 rupees, the sardarji deserved more service. So,
when the Sardarji fell asleep, the barber quietly shaved off his beard.
When the station arrived, the Sardarji
was woken up, and he went home. Reaching home, he went to wash his face,and
suddenly screamed when he saw the mirror. Said his wife " What's
the matter?" Replied he
"The cheat on the train has taken my 20 rupees and woken up someone
else"
Having lost his donkey a Sardarji, got down
to his knees and started thanking God. A passerby saw him and asked, "Your
donkey is missing; what are you thanking God for ?" The sardarji
replied "I am thanking Him for seeing to it that I wasn't riding
the donkey at
that time, otherwise I would have been missing too."
Sardarji got the 4th child. He fills data
in the birth certificate "Mother: Sikh. Father: Sikh. Kid: Chinese."
"How come you write "Chinese" when both parents are Sikh?"
" Aah, Sardarji read a newspaper, it says that every 4th person born
on the Earth now is a
Chinese."
Two dogs, Rubi and Moti, and a Sardarji were
sent to the outer space. The
ground control issues commands "Rubi!" "Woof!" (its
the barking sound)
"Press the red button." "Woof! Woof!" "Moti!"
"Woof!" "Press the white
button." "Woof! Woof!" "Sardarji!" "Woof."
Stop barking, feed the dogs and don't touch anything!"
Sardarji is in Delhi. He is walking on a street
which has a Clock Tower when someone asks him if he wants to buy the clock
of the Tower. Sardarji says "Yes". "Give me a thousand
rupees and I'll go get a ladder." The man took the thousand and disappeared.
Having waited for several hours the Sardarji figured he was taken for
a ride. On the next day the Sardarji is again walking along the same street
and the same man asks him to buy the clock. "Give me a thousand rupees
and I'll go get a ladder." The Sardarji gives him the thousand and
says "I am not a fool.This time, you wait and I'll go
get a ladder."
DOUBLE DECKER BUS RIDE
Santa Singh and Banta Singh landed up in London.
They managed to get into a double-decker bus. Santa Singh somehow managed
to get a bottom seat, But unfortunate Banta got pushed to the top. After
a while when the rush was over, Santa went upstairs to see friend Banta
Singh. He met Banta in a bad condition clutching the seats in front with
both hands,
scared to death. He says, "Arre Banta Singh ! What the heck's goin'
on? Why are you so scared ? I was enjoying my ride down there ?
Scared Banta replies. "Yeah, but I ain't got any driver"
Santa Singh with two red ears went to his doctor.
The doctor asked him what had happened to his ears and he answered, "Iwas
ironing a shirt and the phone rang - but instead of picking up the phone
I accidentally picked up the iron and stuck it to my ear." "
Oh Dear! " the doctor exclaimed in disbelief. "But ..what happened
to your other
ear?"The scoundrel called back."
courtesy: Nicholas
© Nicholas 1999
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